Vipers Match Report – Week 8

We all took to the field on what seemed like a regular Tuesday night, ready to unleash the Vipers might on the Barflies. We got off to a normal start they scored a few, we scored a few, just an average softball game, nothing too special.

That was until the spellbinding Gypsy Rosy-Lee arrived in all regalia, meandering in on her 3 legged donkey. Trying desperately to blend in with the surroundings but I saw her, with her leatheresque face looking like she had spent the last 14 hours on a re-tubed sunbed.  I so wish I had bought those pegs back in 1979, then none of this would have happened! She betrothed her curse on anyone wearing the light blue of the Vipers, “The curse of the inability to bat, run, catch or throw”. The most important things needed whilst playing this glorious game.

The Barflies then chalked up run after run after run. Even Rippers own Laura Bintcliffe managed to score her first ever homerun, guesting for the Barflies of course. Rosy-Lee watched on cackling like a banshee at Vipers inability to get the Barflies out. She did stop for a quick swig of Rum, stolen from her estranged great, great grandson Leo Pearn at the Alex Hall Memorial Tourney earlier in the month. She didn’t seem to notice a pop up that went to 3rd which was caught by our newest recruit Amy Miller. Barflies went on to score 19 runs in a single innings before we eventually got all 3 outs. We then got up to bat and low and behold we forgot how to run. Rosy-Lee worked her evil sorcery again, tripping and injuring our players, knees, ankles, she blatantly didn’t care so long as we were unable to score. Back to the field and we seemed to have the better of the curse. That was until her deviant hoodoo tripped our catcher, Gemma, whilst making the tag of all tags.

After 4 innings, 2 injuries not many runs for us and a bucket load of Barflies runs Rosy-Lee decided to call it a night. I just pray she doesn’t return for us or any other team. If you do get offered pegs at a extortionate rate, please buy them, you’ll be helping softball in general.

The above report was based totally on fact, not a single part was fabricated at all, honest!

Final score Barflies 29-6 Vipers.

Written by Dave Warren

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